What day is it?

Most people assume that wedding registries are good for one thing--buying a wedding gift. These registries usually consist of tacky china patterns and useless pastel-toned Lladro figurines that serve only as a landing zone for dust.

However, what most people don't realize is that wedding registries can be a source of good wholesome fun along the same lines as watching dust particles dance in mid-afternoon sunlight. What I've taken to doing is looking up strangers just to learn a little bit more about them. For instance, I know now that there is an Armenian man somewhere in Illinois marrying a Jill Farmer in three months. Not only that, but they will have a king sized bed and their bedding will look like this. That's gotta be all her.

Also, I finally got around to looking up the meaning of truncate. I always had an idea, but now I know for certain.

I watched Spice World again for the first time in 12 years. I still for the life of me don't know what a "zigazig ha" is. After watching Spice World, I discovered this useless game which is entertaining for about 30 seconds. It allows you to throw food at Posh Spice in an effort to get her to put on some weight. It's so Clarissa Explains It All. Enjoy.

Finally, due to the hydrocodone and various other "self-prescribed" pain remedies, I temporarily had some trouble distinguishing dream state from reality. I eventually figured it out. I think.

The beginning of a journey to nowhere.

I wish I'd started this earlier. It's a semi-fulfilling activity at a reader's expense. You see, I'm not exactly bedridden, but I'm not at a point where I like to venture too far out either. Walking on crutches isn't exactly the most natural way to get around. And there's really no point in going out. I can't have any alcohol or anything--it significantly slows bone healing. So let's call this stage of my life "voluntary house arrest." It is now day 6 of 42 of recovery time.

Let me take a minute to explain. This blog is meant to inform concerned friends and family of my daily activities, as people can't fathom how I spend so many hours a day alone. Everyone is under the impression that I am in bed all day watching the sunlight change against the ceiling. That is not the case. Actually, I have a wonderful chaise lounge in my bedroom that I discovered abandoned in an alley a few years ago. That's where I spend a lot of my time. Still, this circumstance frightens many. I think it's because most people can't stand the idea of being alone with their thoughts because a) they'll discover that they don't actually like themselves or b) they'll realize that they don't really have that many thoughts.

So, friends, with my phone and access to the internet being the sole exceptions, I have basically reverted to a Victorian lifestyle. I am actually catching up on correspondences, too. Today, I wrote and mailed a "thank you" card. When is the last time any of you did that? Exactly.

Furthermore, I learned what a Hypnic Jerk is. You might want to read up on this. It could answer some questions.

Also, I discovered that Lana Wood, former Bond girl, Playboy playmate, and Natalie Wood's kid sista, has very unusual breasts. I'm not going to link you, but you'll definitely want to look into that.

I also watched Cold Comfort Farm, which I'd recommend, but don't bother with the ending.

Last but not least, I started a very boring blog. Enjoy, I guess.